Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
