Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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