that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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