you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
