i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
We smell like vodka and hangover
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
