proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
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