She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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