dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
