Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
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I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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