"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
