oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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