Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
