So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
