When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
