well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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