That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
