her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
