if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
