I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
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i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
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Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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