Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize