i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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