i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize