And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
She has the best kind of daddy issues
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
