We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
