I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
be right there i have to get my cape
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize