Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
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you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
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I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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