I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You smell like stripper and shame
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize