try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
