Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
my shit smells like andre
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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