just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
