Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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