Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
