I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
