I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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