i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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