we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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