I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
