piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
are you so shy because you have an std?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
