I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
