I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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