she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He kissed a someone with a penis
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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