yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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