We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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