I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize