i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
