doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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