I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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