i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
