PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
