Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS