Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?

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  (913): ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf? http://tfl.nu/d12x
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  (512): View more from Texas

  just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.

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  (512): just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton. http://tfl.nu/gz37
  Replies (20) Good night (692) Bad night (2272) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night

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  (773): Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night http://tfl.nu/fbj4
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  (713): View more from Texas

  yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.

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  (713): yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn. http://tfl.nu/bp9j
  Replies (38) Good night (4766) Bad night (2029) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?

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  (403): When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain? http://tfl.nu/0j3p
  Replies (13) Good night (4941) Bad night (791) Order T-Shirt
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night

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  (952): Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night http://tfl.nu/i23x
  Replies (1) Good night (1895) Bad night (965) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.

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  (404): Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it. http://tfl.nu/dkcw
  Replies (7) Good night (2439) Bad night (721)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust

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  (612): it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust http://tfl.nu/y8q4
  Replies (13) Good night (2182) Bad night (1215) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday

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  (512): you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday http://tfl.nu/6yij
  Replies (2) Good night (2237) Bad night (503)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.

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  (937): You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already. http://tfl.nu/06li
  Replies (9) Good night (2295) Bad night (648)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea

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  (907): Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed" (414): I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea http://tfl.nu/3884
  Replies (19) Good night (1004) Bad night (2138)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us

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  (303): They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us http://tfl.nu/8tzs
  Replies (11) Good night (833) Bad night (1413) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"

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  (562): I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??" http://tfl.nu/7nog
  Replies (6) Good night (733) Bad night (233) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.

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  (256): I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan. http://tfl.nu/no44
  Replies (8) Good night (782) Bad night (197) Order T-Shirt
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me

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  (731): He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me http://tfl.nu/hoyn
  Replies (6) Good night (788) Bad night (141) Order T-Shirt

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