I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
