the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
