So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
