Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
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if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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