Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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