Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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