Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
