after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The air was thick with penises
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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