hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
