he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
