Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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