Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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