How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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